run away!!!!

18 12 2008

Segway Calvalry


Typo In Proposition 8 Defines Marriage As Between ‘One Man And One Wolfman’

18 12 2008

SACRAMENTO, CA—Activists on both sides of the gay marriage debate were shocked this November, when a typographical error in California’s Proposition 8 changed the state constitution to restrict marriage to a union between “one man and one wolfman,” instantly nullifying every marriage except those comprised of an adult male and his lycanthrope partner. “The people of California made their voices heard today, and reaffirmed our age-old belief that the only union sanctioned in God’s eyes is the union between a man and another man possessed by an ungodly lupine curse,” state Sen. Tim McClintock said at a hastily organized rally celebrating passage of the new law. But opponents, including Bakersfield resident Patricia Millard—who is now legally banned from marrying her boyfriend, a human, non-wolfman male—claim it infringes on their civil liberties. “I love James just as much as a wolfman loves his husband,” Millard said. “We deserve the same rights as any horrifying mythical abomination.” On the heels of the historic typo, voters in Utah passed a similar referendum a week later, defining marriage as between one man and 23 wolfmen.

– via The Onion

Either Someone 14th Caller Or Everything On Fire At Spanish Radio Station

15 12 2008

SAN JOSE, CA—According to sources, either a listener of local Spanish-language radio program Mañana Gigante con Luis y Moon Dog has just won some sort of promotional contest by being the 14th caller or the entire radio station is currently engulfed in flames. Protracted screams of “aye, aye, aye, muy caliente!” and “en fuego!” could be heard on the broadcast of either the celebratory exultation or out-of-control blaze, and were accompanied by the sounds of loud sirens, breaking glass, and dogs barking. As of press time, no emergency vehicles have been dispatched to the scene, and several witnesses have reportedly turned the dial to classic rock station 101.9 the Eagle just in time to catch the solo of either “War Pigs” or “Iron Man.”

– via The Onion

prop 8 – the musical

10 12 2008

irrefutable proof

8 12 2008


I have to admit that I feel a bit sorry for the caller. Judging by his emotional and self-assuring tone of voice I’d wager that his argument was formed as a coping mechanism meant to fill the sudden gap in logical understanding introduced by the highly improbable (and obviously quite emotional) event he experienced. Unfortunately his emotions most likely trumped reason in his decision to assert this belief as a scientific proof, and I don’t think he fully understood what he was getting himself into. 


3 08 2008

garfield minus garfield


2 08 2008

i’m perpetually drawn back to these two specific routines